Fear is a natural part of life. It protects us, warns us of danger, and sometimes even saves us. But when fear becomes our master instead of our guide, our world begins to shrink. It limits what we do, where we go, and even what we allow ourselves to feel.
Making peace with our fears doesn’t mean getting rid of them completely — it means understanding them. It means learning their language, listening to what they’re trying to tell us, and taking back control over our emotions.
Good Fear vs. Bad Fear
According to Robert Smith, an expert in emotional intelligence and founder of FasterEFT, there are two kinds of fear: the good one, which protects us (like the fear of a venomous snake), and the bad one, which limits us. The second type often begins long ago — in childhood, after a painful experience, or a moment of helplessness. Even as adults, our bodies and minds can keep running that old program.
Robert says the key is to stop fighting the program and instead make peace with it. When we stop resisting fear and start observing it with calm awareness, it begins to lose its power over us.
The Story of the Woman and the Spider
One of Robert’s most memorable stories is about a woman who had been afraid of spiders since childhood. Her fear began when her brother put a spider in her bed. When working with Robert, she managed to overcome this fear in just three minutes.
He used a simple technique he calls the “quick tap” — a mindful, rhythmic tapping of the fingers on the ground or palm. This physical action helps calm the nervous system, anchor the body in the present moment, and reduce the emotional charge. Fear stops being the master and becomes just another feeling we can observe — and release.
How to Work with Fear
- Acknowledge it. Fear that we run from grows stronger. Fear we face begins to fade.
- Give it a form. Imagine what it looks like — is it big, small, funny, or strange? Giving fear a shape makes it less threatening.
- Breathe and return to your body. Fear lives in the body, not in the mind. Breathe in, breathe out — come back to the present.
- Release tension. Gently tap your fingers on your palm or on the ground — as in the “quick tap” technique. It reconnects mind and body.
When we stop fighting fear and start accepting it as part of us, it can no longer hurt us. Panic turns into calm, tension turns into understanding, and with that comes freedom.
The Freedom That Comes with Acceptance
Making peace with fear doesn’t mean we’ll never feel it again. It means no emotion will control us anymore. We gain the ability to observe, to breathe, and to choose our response — and that is true power.
Fear is not an enemy. It’s a teacher showing us where we still have room to grow.
If you’d like to understand your emotions better and learn practical ways to work with them, visit my store. You’ll find eBooks that guide you through the process of understanding, releasing, and transforming your emotions — step by step, back to inner peace.